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Surprisingly Good Foods--Light Hawaiian Punch:

A new installment after a long break!

I'm not sure if this really counts as a "food," but it's really good--at least if you like regular Hawaiian Punch. In fact, I don't think I've ever tasted a diet drink that tastes more like the original, and it's only ten calories per serving.

Even more good news: it's really cheap--in my experience, $2.50 for a gallon.

The bad news: it's really hard to find. Locally, in the D.C. area, I've only seen it at Wegman's, and since Wegman's is not convenient for me, I have to buy four or five at a time. Out-of-town, I've seen it in Walmart supercenters.

John (mail):
Surely the internet will provide a seller who will deliver it to you...

E.g., here.
2.8.2009 6:00pm
Case2L (mail):
ALDI sells a knockoff of Crystal Light under their "Fit N Active" brand that is really quite good. I think it makes about 2-3 gallons of 0 calorie lemonade or raspberry ice for less than $2
2.8.2009 6:12pm
TropicanaOJ (mail):
"Even more good news: it's really cheap--in my experience, $2.50 for a gallon."

Jew

[EDITOR: Glad to see that even in the world of elite law-related blogs, slackjawed morons can still write comments.]
2.8.2009 6:13pm
Andy Bolen (mail):
MMM walmart. Wish we had more of those here in Chicago.
2.8.2009 6:23pm
NYU2Lb:
I like stuff with fizz. My favorite drink is probably coke.
2.8.2009 6:38pm
Bob Goodman (mail) (www):
They already altered the taste of Hawaiian Punch, maybe a decade or so after it was introduced. They gave it more of a sweet-and-sour taste, i.e. more acidity &more sugar. The original was smoother drinking &better.
2.8.2009 6:53pm
NYU2Lb:
In 1963, the animated character of "Punchy" was introduced in a commercial for Hawaiian Punch, eventually becoming the product's mascot. His long-time catch phrase is "How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?" which would then be followed by Punchy literally punching his unsuspecting cohort. The victim of Punchy's shenanigans in the initial commercials was a tourist character named Opie (sometimes referred to as Oaf), who always answered "Sure!", only to receive a wallop from Punchy.[1] The Punchy and Opie characters and tagline remained in use until the 1990s.[2] The punch returned in a 2003 advertisement that saw Punchy knocking people into walls at a party.

Some believe that the idea of Punchy came from a Hawaiian named Josefa Moe (1933-2006).[3

============

Which torts and crimes were committed here? Any argument for consent?
2.8.2009 6:59pm
rockymntn (mail):
Best diet drink ever: Cherry Coke Zero. Hands down.

Let the flame war begin!!

;)
2.8.2009 7:36pm
R. Gould-Saltman (mail):
I think diet H.P. would fall into the category of "food-like beverage substance"....
2.8.2009 7:42pm
arthur (mail):
Nice try, Bernstein, but I'm not sure the new product placement revenue stream will replace those pajamasmedia megabucks :)
2.8.2009 7:43pm
Jonathan Limebrook (mail):
Watch out for this stuff. My family and I got one taste of the Red Stuff and now we're full-on Redheads. My son and I are both type I diabetics, and as such are conoisseurs of diet drinks. He was a diet Coke man, I drank diet Pepsi. But we're both hooked on 'R' now.
2.8.2009 8:19pm
neurodoc:
Wegman's...those of us who live in Montgomery County, where there is some disdain for big-box-like operations, can only envy those who reside on the Virginia side of the Potomac where commerce is less fettered. (And no, the envy has nothing to do with any variety of Hawaiian Punch.)
2.8.2009 8:27pm
John Jenkins (mail):
@rockymntn: Diet Cherry Coke does taste excellent...for cough syrup.

@DB: If you are a bottled water drinker, they also distribute packets that mix into one .5 liter bottle of Light Hawaiian Punch. I have not been able to find 2 quart packets for home use.
2.8.2009 8:28pm
Libertarian1 (mail):
<blockquote>ALDI sells a knockoff of Crystal Light under their "Fit N Active" brand that is really quite good. I think it makes about 2-3 gallons of 0 calorie lemonade or raspberry ice for less than $2

</blockquote>

Wyler's Light is a direct competitor of Crystal Light. $2 for a 6 pack each of which makes a gallon. Close to 0 calories. Other than in French the words too sweet are not in my vocabulary. I go through 2 gallons every 3-4 days of Raspberry Ice.
2.8.2009 8:28pm
Libertarian1 (mail):
<blockquote>ALDI sells a knockoff of Crystal Light under their "Fit N Active" brand that is really quite good. I think it makes about 2-3 gallons of 0 calorie lemonade or raspberry ice for less than $2

</blockquote>

Wyler's Light is a direct competitor of Crystal Light. $2 for a 6 pack each of which makes a gallon. Close to 0 calories. Other than in French the words too sweet are not in my vocabulary. I go through 2 gallons every 3-4 days of Raspberry Ice.
2.8.2009 8:28pm
http://volokh.com/?exclude=davidb:
For the record, Diet Dr. Pepper is the best diet drink ever (assuming you like the real Dr. Pepper). Those food engineers worked magic.
2.8.2009 8:35pm
Dave N (mail):
http://volokh.com/?exclude=davidb:

That's a pretty big assumption.
2.8.2009 9:06pm
eric (mail):
Dr. DP is sewer water. The best DP is the cane sugar kind they make in Texas. The corn syrup kind is second. Forrest Gump would approve.
2.8.2009 9:20pm
CWuestefeld (mail) (www):
I've been drinking the stuff for some time. Actually, what I do is mix Diet Hawaiian Punch with 100% cranberry juice, 50/50.

This gives me the healthy benefits of cranberry juice, without the overly strong taste and with just a little of half the calories.
2.8.2009 9:52pm
theobromophile (www):
No one's answered the big question yet: how does the new HP taste with vodka?
2.8.2009 10:09pm
A. Zarkov (mail):
I used to shop at Wegman's when I lived in the Fairfax area several years ago. It does have an excellent selection and stands out as one of the best supermarkets around. I used to eat at their restaurant as it was one of the few restaurants in the area with decent hygiene. You can compare restaurants using the Virginia Department of Health. The link is surprising hard to find so I'll pass it on. Check out your favorite restaurant, but be prepared to be disgusted by their inspection reports.
2.8.2009 10:36pm
Alexia:
You can always ask the store manager to carry it.
2.8.2009 10:46pm
Houston Lawyer:
eric

You can still find the cane sugar Dr. Pepper in some stores, but only in 6 oz bottles, for about a dollar. They changed the formula for Dr. Pepper decades ago, even here in Texas. I think that Mexican coca cola may still be made with sugar cane, but Coke won't let you import it into the country.

I have yet to taste a diet drink that didn't turn my stomach.
2.8.2009 11:23pm
Matt_T:
Prof. Bernstein drinks Hawaiian Punch specifically so nobody will accuse him of drinking the Kool-Aid.
2.8.2009 11:34pm
Brian K (mail):
coke zero

one can a day keeps the zzzz's away.

(the cherry coke zero tastes horrible! despite the regular cherry coke being my favorite soda)
2.8.2009 11:35pm
Allen G:
In Dallas, you can buy Dublin Dr Pepper at Central Market and some other places in ordinary 12-oz can 6-packs. For years, the Dublin bottler was the only DP bottler still making using the ingredient (I got hooked on it in the late 90s when I had a boss who lived in nearby Stephenville, who brought in a case a week). For a while last year, Jason's Deli was carrying it in all their stores, but I heard they were forced to stop because it conflicted with their existing distributor's contract.

Now, there 3 or 4 different DP bottlers that use cane sugar. I've seen it in Fredericksburg in 16oz plastic bottles, which came from a Temple bottler.
2.8.2009 11:40pm
DavidBernstein (mail):
If you want any soft drink with cane sugar, look for a kosher for passover version in areas with significant Jewish populations in March/April. I'm not sure about other drinks, but Coke makes a kosher for passover version with cane sugar (for reasons that escape me, Ashkenazic, but not Sephardic, Jewish tradition bans the use of corn products on Passover).
2.8.2009 11:47pm
DavidBernstein (mail):
And I do like Coke Zero, and Diet Dr. Pepper.
2.8.2009 11:47pm
Hadur:
These are the kind of light-hearted, random posts that endear me to Volokh Conspiracy. It allows me to sell the blog to my friends as "a bunch of libertarian law professors post about whatever they happen to find interesting at the moment", which is getting you more readers than an alternative "a bunch of libertarian law professors post about the law" pitch would. ;-)
2.9.2009 1:19am
Visitor Again:
These are the kind of light-hearted, random posts that endear me to Volokh Conspiracy.

I wonder what would endear the Volokh Conspiracy to you.
2.9.2009 1:52am
drink water:
I'm a firm disbeliever in "diet" drinks.

Ditch the carbs, drink water, up the protein and vegetables and lift weights is all I gotta say.
2.9.2009 5:18am
EricPWJohnson (mail):
300 gallons of that modified red die num 5 and there's no emblaming requirement in Georgia
2.9.2009 7:16am
http://volokh.com/?exclude=davidb:

Ditch the carbs, drink water, up the protein and vegetables and lift weights is all I gotta say.

I very much doubt that's all you have to say. People who give advice about health and fitness are rarely this limited in their observations.
2.9.2009 9:19am
ArthurKirkland:
Proof in the pudding, I suppose . . . but so far, that's all he had to say. And it is difficult to quarrel with the sentiment.

I like the no-cal versions of Dr Pepper, A@W Cream Soda, Mug Root Beer and Squirt, dislike many other diet drinks. Why the distinction? Some regular flavors may be more compatible with the taste of artificial sweeteners, at least on my tongue. I can envision liking Diet Hawaiian Punch, because the regular version -- which I like -- tastes "artificial" already.
2.9.2009 9:53am
Randy R. (mail):
Hailing from Buffalo, we all know about Wegman's. Imagine my happiness when I found out that they opened a few stores in Virginia. David, Wegman's is NEVER out of your way, because it's something you must do for yourself, like getting a massage, or detoxing.

I know people in the VA area who are too scared to go to Wegman's because they are afriad that they will be swept up into it's cult-like atmosphere. I tell them they are correct, and that they better stay away.

When Chere did her concert in Rochester, they took her on a tour of Wegmans'.

Once, while in Buffalo, we had some friends from Chicago stay with us. We told them to go to Wegman's for the afternoon, and they looked at us like we must be the biggest bunch of hillbillies -- tourism at a supermarket?

They came back having fallen head first into the cult of Wegman's. AFter spending most of the day there, they said that they meats looked so good, they almost bought some -- and they are lifelong vegans.

IF you don't live near a Wegman's,I pity you.
2.9.2009 12:15pm
NickM (mail) (www):
<blockquote>
<i>These are the kind of light-hearted, random posts that endear me to Volokh Conspiracy. </i>

I wonder what would endear the Volokh Conspiracy to you.
</blockquote>

Buying Orin a beer would be a good start.

Nick
2.9.2009 12:33pm
neurodoc:
David Bernstein: Coke makes a kosher for passover version with cane sugar (for reasons that escape me, Ashkenazic, but not Sephardic, Jewish tradition bans the use of corn products on Passover).
For the same reason that on Passover Ashkenazi can't eat rice or peas, but Sephardi can. Just learned that Italian Jews distinguish themselves from both Ashkenazi and Sephardi, though don't know the details, including dietary limits at Passover. A Sicilian "rite" too, it seems.
2.9.2009 7:54pm

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