Palin Haiku Contest:

Here are a couple to get you started.

Right-wingers rejoice

Maybe Obama Won't Win!

Palin on ticket

Democrats panic

What strikes terror in their hearts?

Pit bull with lipstick

byomtov (mail):
Foreign policy my game
I can see Russia
What else do I need
9.12.2008 10:52pm
DavidBernstein (mail):
I've got to stop myself from doing this all night, but one more:
Rookie interview
God's War? GOP response:
Charlie Gibson lied
9.12.2008 10:54pm
EH (mail):
You're killing me here.
9.12.2008 10:59pm
theobromophile (www):
Dumb question, but what syllable measure are we using? I'm seeing 6-7-5, 5-7-5, 7-5-5, and 5-6-5. Or maybe I can't count syllables and shouldn't be playing.
9.12.2008 11:02pm
Big E:
Lindgren's Obession
Alaska's New Governor
Her Faults Overlooked

Just kidding jim
9.12.2008 11:06pm
DavidBernstein (mail):
It should be 5-7-5. I screwed one up, but now it's fixed.
9.12.2008 11:08pm
Bitter independent:
Earmarks on demand
Palin's economic plan:
Cut taxes and spend!
9.12.2008 11:09pm
trad and anon:
It's a Friday night
Here we are courtesy of
Palin Conspiracy
9.12.2008 11:10pm
Dilan Esper (mail) (www):
Technically, these are senryū, not haiku. (Haiku is about nature.)
9.12.2008 11:11pm
Six Colleges Five Kids
Four coaches Three bad gaffes
Too Late Barack Won
9.12.2008 11:12pm
Bama 1L:
Declined pointless bridge
But kept allocated funds:
Budget cutter? Hmm.
9.12.2008 11:16pm
DavidBernstein (mail):
5-7-5, people
9.12.2008 11:16pm
theobromophile (www):
Gets working mom vote,
and evangelicals too,
but PUMAs stay away.
9.12.2008 11:20pm
Zubon (mail) (www):
Thank you for this post.
Not enough Palin content
on the internet.
9.12.2008 11:20pm
theobromophile (www):
Um... that last one was 5-7-6, ack.


Gets working mom vote,
and evangelicals too,
but PUMAs say no.
9.12.2008 11:21pm
Bama 1L:
Energy's top mind:
Oil Exec? Scientist? No!
Hockey mom Sarah.
9.12.2008 11:23pm
I fired the po' chief...
Wouldn't sack the deputy

(Your Marley haiku)
9.12.2008 11:24pm
David Warner:
We love you David
But we think perhaps this thread
Does you no credit
9.12.2008 11:28pm
palin took mccain
off hallucinatory
bridges to nowhere
9.12.2008 11:29pm
Norman Bates (mail):
Obama gonzo
Palin makes him look so po
Now back to my show
9.12.2008 11:42pm
marked ears lost in moose sized lies
any price to win
9.12.2008 11:44pm
Lipstick on earmarks
Doesn't make them go away
Just makes crabs mate more.

Enjoy the long walk!
Infamous bridge to nowhere
Is really short pier.

Nowhere, Alaska.
Redundant? I think so.
Let's go ask Putin.
9.12.2008 11:44pm
markH (mail):
Bush Doctrine say you?
eXtreme Muslims want us dead
Don't forget to vote
9.12.2008 11:44pm
tundra queen uses
caribou and moose merely
for target practice
9.12.2008 11:45pm
pitbull in lipstick
fear not obama's banter
he's no michael vick
9.12.2008 11:48pm
She departs my dream,
Moves the White House soon.
Can I brief her then?
9.12.2008 11:50pm

She departs my dream,
Moves to the White House soon.
Can I brief her then?
9.12.2008 11:51pm
Ex-Fed (mail) (www):
apparently now means one
who wants to ban books
9.12.2008 11:51pm
LJST (www):
Two weeks of Palin:
Ritual Democratic
Self immolation

Sarah Palin just like Marge,
Sheriff in Fargo
9.12.2008 11:55pm
former beauty queen
would beat barry and joe in
cage match handily
9.12.2008 11:55pm
Buckland (mail):
Who's Sarah Palin?
No story on internet,
Must google harder.
9.12.2008 11:56pm
old wives tales fill banned
shelves now with laboring rapes
drill baby for oil
9.12.2008 11:56pm
Yum yum! Mooseburgers!
Palin should stick to hockey
and not try hardball.

As a Clintonite,
Palin pick could not be more
Sexist and silly.

Palin as VP
is now cramming for exams.
Her past record? FAIL.
9.12.2008 11:57pm
move over oprah
you crush on darling barry
may cost you dearly
9.12.2008 11:58pm
Bill Bentnickel:
Media blowback
Lefty pundits just can't stop
McCain polls rising
9.12.2008 11:59pm
mccains tortured hands
can't type on keyboard like us
obama mocks him

I hope this isn't deleted for being off topic. But it does tie in to Obama's unforced errors. You wonder if his staff knows how to use the internet to find things like this:

McCain's severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard

Before issuing ads like this:

Admits he still doesn't know how to use a computer, can't sent an email....
I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message.
9.12.2008 11:59pm
the emperor (www):
Palin on earmarks:
they were good, now they are bad.
she's Ted Stevens-lite
9.13.2008 12:01am
wake up, dreaming Dems
freshman senators and first
ladies just won't do
9.13.2008 12:03am
obama and joe
give no heed to maxims of
rocks and glass houses
9.13.2008 12:05am
Bill Bentnickel:
Perhaps better...

Media blowback
Lefty bloggers just can't stop
McCain polls rising
9.13.2008 12:08am
Katelyn Sack (mail) (www):
Repubs argued the
freshman Senator had no
experience: hah!
9.13.2008 12:09am
media cries wolf
(not blitzer, mind you) but no
villagers believe
9.13.2008 12:11am
when all comment boards
require versification
web's a better place
9.13.2008 12:15am
shirk the DLC
run crying to Clinton when
the center won't play
9.13.2008 12:19am
jccamp (mail):
Matt Damon spoke trash
I have a perfect place to
Hang him on my wall (next to my moose, and my caribou, and my bear, and...)
9.13.2008 12:22am
Bill Bentnickel:
Hockey mom wows ‘em
Obama mania gone
McCain White House bound

Obama picks Biden
McCain picks Palin, outsider
Change message now his
9.13.2008 12:29am
Asher (mail):
Palin interviewed
Makes gigantic fool of self
Campaign so over
9.13.2008 12:30am
jccamp (mail):
The media stars all swooned
Now they gnash their teeth
9.13.2008 12:31am
Experience counts --
if the election is just
a beauty contest.
9.13.2008 12:31am
Karen A. Wyle (mail) (www):
One tough mama now
takes on a much bigger hunt --
bag the big Donkey!

Multitasking mom
moving up the ladder still --
city, state, U.S.

She gave one good speech
but should stop recycling
lines that could get stale

This breath of fresh air
rivals Gustav, even Ike
blowing O. off course

[This is too addictive!]
9.13.2008 12:32am
senators know its
more cursed to give than to
receive an earmark
9.13.2008 12:35am
palin reminds us
to trust our guts instead of
those talking heads
9.13.2008 12:37am
Asher (mail):
palin reminds us
to trust our guts instead of
those talking heads

Yes, don't trust talking
heads who give her a pass for
being ignorant
9.13.2008 12:40am
reid and pelosi
O's liberal rubber stamp
desire lustily
9.13.2008 12:41am
DavidBernstein (mail):

Obama's pro-choice
I'm sure he wishes he could
Abort Biden's mouth.
9.13.2008 12:41am
Federalist Society Member:
In what sense, Charlie?
(I must've missed the debate.)
Alaska's awesome!

Come to Wasilla!
We make you pay for rape kits!
(We pray it's God's task.)

Fair-minded people,
Please open your freakin' eyes.
She's out of her league.
9.13.2008 12:42am
David Warner:
And now for something completely different.
9.13.2008 12:42am
too far right for me
never mind the resume
call her moose-olini.
9.13.2008 12:42am
Asher (mail):

Huge debt? Fixed with ease
We'll find some efficiencies
So vote for me please
9.13.2008 12:43am
jccamp (mail):
DB wins the round at 11;41!!!!
9.13.2008 12:44am
Waldensian (mail):

Technically, these are senryū, not haiku. (Haiku is about nature.)

Holy cow -- I actually learned something by reading a Palin thread.
9.13.2008 12:45am
so smart, yet so wrong
friend of wright, ayers, pfleger
what makes you so wise?
9.13.2008 12:46am
gerbilsbite (mail):
"Pit bull with lipstick"
If she were ready to lead
It might be funny
9.13.2008 12:48am
Jaime non-Lawyer:
Palin experience
is much more relevant than
Barak organized
9.13.2008 12:49am
JWG (mail):
Democrats sadly
watching poll numbers plunging
The moose are hopeful
9.13.2008 12:53am
Asher (mail):
Veep compares self
to dumb dog, takes offense when
compared to bright pig

Explanation: Pigs
are east coast elitists
dogs - salt of the earth
9.13.2008 12:53am
Barak's wintry words
cannot chill the warmth within
my new palinquin.
9.13.2008 12:59am
Asher (mail):
Correction for meter:

Veep compares herself
to dumb dog, takes offense when
compared to bright pig

Explanation: Pigs
are all east coast elitists
pitbulls - salt of earth
9.13.2008 1:00am
LM (mail):
Qualified? Who me?
No one really believes that.
We'll win anyway.
9.13.2008 1:03am
David Schraub (mail) (www):
Iraq and Iran
Who to attack after that?
The Russians? Perhaps so.
9.13.2008 1:05am

The moose are hopeful

Palin overload
Bernstein freshens it up some
JWG wins
9.13.2008 1:07am
Bill Bentnickel:
Caribou or moose
Anchors can’t tell which is which
…Least of their worries

Running a campaign
Obama’s “experience”
Looks he ready now?

Gibson's "Big Mistake"
(Not reading Volokh blog first)
Is he missing this?

[OK, I'm done ... really]
9.13.2008 1:08am
Three a.m. phone call:
"Russia's invaded Georgia?
Defend Tennessee!"
9.13.2008 1:42am
John Armstrong (mail) (www):
For Dilan Esper:

Alaska's brown leaves
Palin's not on campaign trail?
Nope. It's moose season
9.13.2008 1:44am
Kent G. Budge (www):
As someone pointed out, haikus must invoke nature, and my understanding is that they ought to mention a season of the year. Hence:

Lovely autumn leaves
Nature's homage to the polls
Let's go with Palin
9.13.2008 1:55am
Syd Henderson (mail):
Jesus Bloody Christ!
Yet another Palin thread?
Thirty is enough!
9.13.2008 1:59am
Syd Henderson (mail):
Moose graze contented
On Alaskan tundra moss.
Bang! Goes Palin's gun.
9.13.2008 2:03am
David Warner:
Qualified? Who me?
No one really believes that.
We'll win anyway.

quality is by
definition subjective
try again LM
9.13.2008 2:04am
gerbilsbite (mail):
"No hesitation"
Expertise is meaningless.
Strong. Oblivious.

"Bush Doctrine?" Charlie,
I've never heard that term used
Not like we're at war...

Incest is piffle.
"Mother's health" is too damn vague.
Buy your own rape kit.

Why separation?
Church and State: peas and carrots.
God bless this pipeline.

Dear Commissioner,
Help me break the law or go.
Sincerely, Sarah.

Bankrupted my town,
Corruption as governor...
Vote McCain/Agnew!

History, science...
why worry my precious mind?
Let's go shoot a moose.

A blizzard of words,
full of sound and fury, but
signifies nothing.

PTA reformed:
Does that mean she stood up to
Big Wrapping-Paper?

Small-town mayor is
like an organizer: you
get to fire cops.

Fire the chief, then
Fire the commissioner:
Sense a pattern there?

Mother, moose-hunter:
When I think of leadership,
those two top my list.

Not a Murkowski.
Still corrupt, still power-mad,
but hey, she's not Frank.

Misunderstood Quayle:
just as we miss Bill Clinton,
she'll make you look good.

Subpoena is hard
To fit into her schedule.
Inconvenient truth.
9.13.2008 2:07am
David Warner:
icy arctic wind
tolling winter's deathly bell
for summer's bright son
9.13.2008 2:12am
No more elites, please
I want a new face in place
Someone dumb like me

Our Pet Shop Palin.
Ev'rything She's ever done
That's right, it's a sin
9.13.2008 2:14am
gerbilsbite (mail):
Remember when we
thought experience mattered?
Way back in the day.

Unknown quantity.
Not like she may be only
A heartbeat away.

All we knew about her we
Learned from BabyTrigg.
9.13.2008 2:16am
Matthew Dessem (mail) (www):
Investigate rape?
Sure, for twelve hundred dollars.
Mayor Palin insists.
9.13.2008 2:26am
LM (mail):

Iraq and Iran
Who to attack after that?
The Russians? Perhaps so.


Palin overload
Bernstein freshens it up some
JWG wins

One, Two, Three, Four, Five.
It really isn't so hard.
Try counting slower.

(Apologies to the authors. I know. I'm a dick.)
9.13.2008 2:27am
A.W. (mail):
Does not email!
Cause John suffered torture.
Obama stepped in it.

Palin has
A loaded Moose rifle
Say it! “Not a pig!”

Obama says
She has no practice in this.
No self knowledge

Not just words
‘Cept when he puts his foot in
Then they are just words

Game hunter:
Seeks moose, deer, Ted Stevens
And earmarks
9.13.2008 2:37am
Paladin Palin
Guarding the Repub Doorway
Lest reason sneak in

God is my witness
I always abide his word
Subpoena him, Ha!
9.13.2008 2:41am
Raises sales tax
My 1040 goes to road

Her friends can't today
say they will pull her lever
Et tu, Fren-emies?
9.13.2008 2:42am
Gerbilsbite's posts win hands down for me. Some of the ones at 1:07 are simply stunning.
9.13.2008 2:45am
LM (mail):
David Warner:

Qualified? Who me?
No one really believes that.
We'll win anyway.

quality is by
definition subjective
try again LM

It's hyperbole.
But why would anyone care?
It's bi-partisan.
9.13.2008 2:46am
Asher (mail):
Hey, Sarah Palin
Miss South Carolina called
wants her style back
9.13.2008 2:47am
9.13.2008 2:49am
one of many:


Party Unity My Posterior, a subset of democratic party which is so upset over the failure to nominate Clinton they are threatening to support McCain.
9.13.2008 3:00am
David Warner:
Or living Constitution?
Law profs should take note
9.13.2008 3:18am
David Warner:
It's hyperbole.
But why would anyone care?
It's bi-partisan.

hyperbole? no.
just hope and change with flavor
9.13.2008 3:22am
gerbilsbite (mail):
Earmarks are bad now.
I'm still keeping the money,
But earmarks are bad.

Nowhere, Alaska:
Together, let's build bridges
(In election years).

Commander in Chief
of the state National Guard.
No orders given.

Canada next door,
Russia across the Beiring...
Foreign policy!

Hopes of a nation
Rest with this dead-ringer for
George Bush in a dress.

War with Russia may
Be on the horizon. Yay!
Brinkmanship is fun!

Remember way back
When we tried not to start wars?
Ah, the good old days!

"Ready on Day One."
Not exactly sure what for,
But she reassures.

Face down the press corps!
Screwed up badly with Gibson?
Let's call Hannity.

Hey Disney, listen:
Never thought I'd say this, but
Matt Damon was right.

Bit slow on her feet,
But she read her speech real sweet:
She recites 'read' meat.

Moose-burgers, you say?
Her record is empty, but
We like her palate.

We picked a Vice-President
9.13.2008 3:33am
Dell Adams:
Alaskan fireweed:
Till snows come, its rivals pale
In comparison
9.13.2008 3:49am
psychdoc (mail):
Laugh on the lipstick
Sly, misogynistic cat
Navy mon slap shot
9.13.2008 3:53am
Palinbots may Ponder
So Many Bridges to Nowhere
We Will Build our Own
9.13.2008 4:09am
Jim Hu:
Obama botnet
Attacks Palin in blind rage
Wounds the One instead
9.13.2008 4:17am
Syd Henderson (mail):
Bridges to nowhere
Really aren't that ambitious.
Let's build a skyhook!
9.13.2008 4:34am
Jim Hu:
Unexpected twist
Big lead falls like Autumn leaves
Hillary hides laugh
9.13.2008 4:46am
LM (mail):

hyperbole? no.
just hope and change with flavor

No hyperbole?
It's about what you told me
should be subjective.
9.13.2008 5:54am
I am offended.
My righteous indignation
is bigger than yours.
9.13.2008 6:22am
Moose feces express
Palin tail wags McCain dog
WTF is this?
9.13.2008 8:14am
Jerome Cole (mail) (www):
I'm an idiot. I must have slept through whatever course teaches you how to count syllables in English. Chinese is much easier.
9.13.2008 9:06am
byomtov (mail):

Sorry. Correction:

Foreign policy
Russia, I can see Russia
What else do I need

Can't afford rape kit
City saving its money
To build hockey rink
9.13.2008 9:47am
Bob Dole:
The G.O.P. "MILF"
titillates with her good-looks
and Bob Dole approves.
9.13.2008 10:39am
LM (mail):
Hoosier don't settle,
You can do better than a
Girl without a clue.

Sarah's a cipher,
Haunting your dreams and a few
Quaint old maxims like:

"Better to be still
and appear dumb than to speak
and remove all doubt."
9.13.2008 11:02am
There once was a girl from Wasilla
A sexy, conservative moose killa
Liberals trembled in fear
Desperately trying to smear
The Right's deliciously hot new Godzilla

(Ok, it's a limerick, but at least I included a Japanesey twist at the end.)
9.13.2008 11:19am
And one for 0bama:

There once was a man from Hawaii
Whose church was no fan of Whitey
Communities organized
Inexperience lionized
A messiah above God almighty
9.13.2008 11:26am
To LM:

Old lib'ral refrain
Attack Righty brainpower
But Joe last in class
9.13.2008 11:29am
doubt her resume
watch obama and biden
lose it anyway
9.13.2008 11:31am
horse sense is no joke
when joe and barry blow smoke
we refuse to toke
9.13.2008 11:40am
Big E:

from the land of winter
McCain's savior a woman
Obama still wins
9.13.2008 12:07pm
Big E struggles to
count syllables correctly
In Palin attack
9.13.2008 12:10pm
Big E:
crap :)
9.13.2008 12:41pm
David Warner:
No hyperbole?
It's about what you told me
should be subjective.

Hope is a prayer
Not an assertion despite
Status quo's scissors

The bi-partisan
qualifications are in
the constitution

The rest, as they say
is philosophy or else
a Pirsig koan
9.13.2008 1:08pm
David Post (mail) (www):
V.P knows Russia.
At least, where it's located.
So reassuring!

on-the-job training
is best for learning new things.
I sure hope it's true.

Palin-dromic veep?
I guess we'll see. More likely
9.13.2008 2:03pm
Haiku Expert (mail):
Actually, haiku does not have to have the 5-7-5 format. In fact, it's kind of silly to impose that syllabic structure on the English language, when it was invented for use in the Japanese language.

In sum, haiku is about content, not rigid adherence to 5-7-5.
9.13.2008 2:21pm
Bill Bentnickel:
Haiku Expert says
5-7-5 form not needed
Above posts...never mind!
9.13.2008 2:34pm
LM (mail):
If we cared about
more than form wouldn't we talk
about someone else?
9.13.2008 2:47pm
ARCraig (mail):
Oh, Volokh website!
Used to be about the law
Now, damn politics
9.13.2008 3:40pm
David Warner:
Oh, Volokh website!
Used to be about the law
Now, damn politics

in this country we
elect our lawmakers so
politics it is
9.13.2008 3:58pm
ARCraig (mail):
Though, is not about lipstick
And flag lapel pins
9.13.2008 4:14pm
Two-Fisted Law Student (mail):
Caribou Barbie,
patently unqualified,
deified for spite.
9.13.2008 5:07pm
Two-Fisted Law Student (mail):
Have your rapist's kid,
(assuming cops accept Visa);
what a feminist.
9.13.2008 5:14pm
Two-Fisted Law Student (mail):
Dead last in science
among first-world nations?
Try pseudoscience!
9.13.2008 5:20pm
Two-Fisted Law Student (mail):
What theology;
Jesus cares about your damn
soccer stadium.
9.13.2008 5:27pm
lucia (mail) (www):
Palin's a woman.
I'm tempted to vote for her.
I'll decide later.
9.13.2008 7:45pm
Haiku Expert wrote at 9.13.2008 1:21pm:
In sum, haiku is about content, not rigid adherence to 5-7-5.
Oh, goody! In that case I'll add my Palin Drome: A miniscule mock epic in which Sarah Palin fails to persuade certain randy Northern California hempsters of the need for tax reform.

Hemp? O, 24 a day.
Sex at noon.
Haiku was a mock coma -- nil.

A Palin a mock coma saw:
"Ukiah, No on taxes!"
Yada! 4:20 PM, eh?
9.13.2008 8:14pm
Lipstick on a pig
Or lipstick on a pit bull?
Lindgren likes either.
9.13.2008 11:11pm
Palin owns the Web.
That's the best explanation
For this blog fetish.

[this may be more fun than EV's Palindrome competition]
9.13.2008 11:15pm
Biden stole Neil's lines.
Palin stole the election.
VPs do matter!

[I'd better stop now; this could be addicting]
9.13.2008 11:20pm
[and in closing, a thank-you as my wife drags me away from the computer]:

Bernstein wins the prize
For best Palin post on Web.
The rest are all dumb.
9.13.2008 11:29pm
"In sum, haiku is about content, not rigid adherence to 5-7-5."

Not on this thread, Mr. Roboto.
9.13.2008 11:36pm
Dan Schmutter:
Palin runs for Veep
Tina Fey career booster
Better than Hammond
9.15.2008 12:50pm
Palin by the sea
O! the Dems are going to pee
when the drill bits bite
9.17.2008 11:40am
beowulf (mail):
The black swan arrives,
autumn leaves disturbing;
mooseburgers soon.
9.17.2008 2:21pm
Dan Are (mail):

Technically, these are senryū, not haiku. (Haiku is about nature.)

What could be more about nature than a discussion of moose? Or puma?

M4 to shoulder
Tee shirt on sweaterpuppies
Forget Barry O!
9.17.2008 4:33pm