The Tampa Tribune reports:
The state Senate this week opened discussions on ... replica bull testicles dangling from the back bumpers of vehicles. One senator wants the owners of such swaying baubles to be subject to a $60 fine.
Sen. Carey Baker, R-Eustis, sparked the discussion in the august senate chambers this week. Senators tried not to get too graphic, as a bunch of school children watched from the gallery....
Sen. Victor Crist, a Republican whose district covers part of Hillsborough and Pasco counties, was flabbergasted that the discussion took place at all.
"It was a waste of time," he said this morning. "We have better things to do than sit down and listen to a debate on whether or not someone should be allowed to hang an ornament on their trailer hitch or not.
"To me," he said, "It's a First Amendment right of personal expression as long as it's not rude, crude or lewd, and it has not been proven to be that." ...
The vehicle accessory has spawned a couple of very successful Internet mail order businesses. Your Nutz, a California company, boasts colors including sun-kissed sienna, dark forest green and even electric blue lighted sets that cast an eerie glow....
"Every time this happens," [David Ham, founder and owner of Your Nutz] said, talking of moves to ban the product, "it drives my sales through the roof. I can't thank this lawmaker enough. I'm considering contributing to these guys who are coming up with these bills." ...
"Florida is not the first state to do this," [BullsBalls owner John Saller] said. Virginia and New Jersey legislators have tried similar sanctions, and so far all attempts to reel in the replicas have failed, he said.
Oh, and let's praise the Internet for this: "All that is thanks to the Internet, [Ham] said. 'If it wasn't for the Internet,' he said, 'I wouldn't have started this business, and there would not be a testicle industry.'" Another way technology makes the world better.
Thanks to Brian Smith for the pointer.
"as long as it's not rude, crude or lewd, and it has not been proven to be that"
Might or might not also be lewd, but it is rude and it is crude. Two cheers (rah!) for judicious ignoring of Constitutional tests.
I'm totally OK with the idea that consenting adults ought to be allowed to do whatever the Hell they want to in private or in adults-only venues, but every time I pass one of these SOB's on the highway, I have to fight back the urge to run him off into the gutter where he belongs. (The same goes for cars with posters of people urinating.)
If this kind of thing is really constitutionally protected, then we are way overdue for a constitutional convention to bring some common sense back into government.
Well, lurker, whatever you do, don't ever bring your kids to a farm, or the zoo, or get them a (male) dog...
I think you need a reality check. Do you really think that it will do children the slightest harm to see bulls' testicles, real or fake? Why? In fact, virtually any child who grows up on a ranch or farm or in a family with a dog or has friends who have a dog knows what testicles look like. Psychiatrists are curiously mum on the havoc that this has caused. If anything, making a big deal about genitalia is more likely to give kids a complex.
AntonK,
Real rural people don't hang fake bulls' testicles from their trailer hitches. They fry real bulls' testicles and eat them.
It seems to me you either go full steam libertarian where absolutely nothing is ruled too crude or offensive to put on your car and the rest of us just have to get used to our kids seeing porn or whatever on people's bumpers, or you agree that some standards exist, and then, to paraphrase the old joke, were just arguing over price.
In the end, however, this is more a symptom than a cause of anything bad. In the past you didn't NEED a law telling people not to put fake testicles on their cars. People naturally either understood why not to do it, or they understood that they would get enough informal social punishments to make it not worth it. Sad.
Ah yes, Prairie Oysters
Yeah, good luck with that.
Then you can follow it up with another Constitutional convention and come up with a whole bunch of amendments-- one to regulate TV content, one to regulate video games, one to outlaw "swearing," and maybe an all-purpose amendment to outlaw anything that offends your delicate sensibilities. Oh, my mistake, the delicate sensibilities of "the children."
The town of Rock Creek Montana hosts the annual Rock Creek Testicle Festival. The Billboard on I 90 highlights the festival with the tag line: "Stop in and have a ball." Description here
I remember an epic battle in the ol' state capitol over who had claims to the meat from a roadkill, the driver or the property owner upon which the carcass remains landed.
It would certainly add something to the legislative debate.
"Will someone pleeeeease think of the children???"
No, real rural people use them to produce a revenue stream.
They need to close the loophole that would allow the defense, "What bull testicles, officer? That's just where I store my old tennis balls."
Guys either we all have First Amendment rights, and we can express what we want, or none of us have. You have to choose. Ours is not a cafeteria Constitution
While I'm not someone who would use my constitutional right to denounce gays as evil, I know a lot of people who would who have no problem whatsoever with these testicles. In short, there are a lot of conservatives who are consistent, even if I disagree with them on a most issues.
A Virginia legislator introduced the same legislation a few months ago.
It didn't pass, though it did get a lot of publicity.
Just like in the Dark Ages. Every time the Church issued a list of banned books, those were the most in demand.
My thoughts exactly, including the fan of federalism part.
Yet the:
... indeed.
Cows don't have testicles.
Not that I'm denouncing either, but one is "speech" and the other is a set of rubber testicles. I think it's possible to come up with a reasonable interpretation of the First Amendment that bans one and not the other.
Under that standard, the First Amendment is meaningless. Using your logic, this blog should be censored or banned because of the filth associated with bull testes that is displayed here.
Keep the faith, though Lurker. If Obama or Clinton become President, you'll go right to the top of their Supreme Court list with that type of First Amendment thinking.
Second thought: Thank God the lege is debating this instead of further messing up all the state's real problems.
;-)
In the great State of Florida, you can create your own license plate design and use it as a fund raising tool for your cause (whatever that may be.) One of the restrictions is that the license plate cannot be "political". The plate is approved by the State legislature. I have one with a sea turtle on it and the extra fees I pay go to sea turtle conservation.
There was an attempt to create a "Celebrate Diversity" plate which failed the political test (it's apparently associated with gay rights) and was canned. However, "Choose Life", a bright yellow plate with an image of children drawn by crayon wasn't deemed political at all.
What amazes me is that the Nascar crowd that enjoys the swinging nuts on their trailer hitches are likely to vote for the folks making the stink in the Senate. Is this a case of conservative infighting?