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Harvard Hires Every Law Professor in the Country:
I missed this story from the April 1st issue of the Harvard Law Record (hat tip: Leiter's Law School Reports):
Harvard Law School's communications office announced today that HLS has hired every law professor in the country, solidifying its position as the preeminent law school in America.

Dean Elena Kagan said that she got the idea from recent additions to the faculty. "As soon as we'd hire one professor from, say, Columbia or Chicago," said Kagan, "he or she would suggest another prize we should grab. We hired two, then three, then finally realized we were only delaying the inevitable. . . .

Harvard completed its monopoly yesterday by hiring the final holdout, William van Alstyne, from William and Mary. Van Alstyne, who had moved to William and Mary from Duke after William and Mary agreed to hire his wife, was swayed after Harvard agreed to hire his wife, three children, 6-year-old grandchild, and his dog, Oliver Wendell Bones, who will all teach legal research and writing. . . .

Said Jack Goldsmith, who was hired by Harvard in 2004 from Virginia, "It's nice to see some of my old colleagues here." Added Goldsmith, "Also, everyone else."



andy (mail) (www):
That was pretty damn good. Worth reading in full.
4.15.2008 4:10pm
Dilan Esper (mail) (www):
In other news, Yale Law School's administration says it is happy for Harvard, but administrators at Yale note that their school is still far superior because Harvard's faculty size makes the law school big and impersonal, while at Yale's smaller school, everyone knows each other.
4.15.2008 4:12pm
Careless:
Too much like the "Yankees buy every baseball player" Onion piece from early in the decade.
4.15.2008 4:46pm
Terrivus:
In other news, Yale Law School's administration says it is happy for Harvard, but administrators at Yale note that their school is still far superior because Harvard's faculty size makes the law school big and impersonal, while at Yale's smaller school, everyone knows each other.

Wow, you really know how to deliver a snappy comeback.

"Brevity is the soul of wit." -- Shakespeare
4.15.2008 4:54pm
CPDL:
Dilan--can't speak for Terrivus, but you made me laugh.
4.15.2008 5:06pm
Bored Lawyer:

his dog, Oliver Wendell Bones


That's a new one!
4.15.2008 5:31pm
Sean M:
Speaking as a current student of Prof. Van Alstyne, I encourage Harvard to close the deal before he finishes creating our exam.
4.15.2008 5:59pm
alias:
The headline says "Dean Kagan Hires Every Law Professor in the County."
4.15.2008 7:11pm
Jim at FSU (mail):
Heh, I lolled at the idea of having the children and the dog teach legal research and writing.
4.15.2008 7:14pm
Bill Poser (mail) (www):

Speaking as a current student of Prof. Van Alstyne, I encourage Harvard to close the deal before he finishes creating our exam.


Haven't taken Contracts yet, eh? :)
4.15.2008 10:22pm
Hoosier:
Wait a tick!

Does this mean that ALL the jobs at other schools are now OPEN?!!!!

How cool is that!
4.16.2008 1:05am
MJG:
Oliver Wendell Bones is a great name for a dog.
4.16.2008 9:47am
Terrence Berres (mail) (www):
"I am obliged to confess I should sooner live in a society governed by the first fifty thousand names in the Boston telephone directory..."
--William F. Buckley, Jr., April 1, 2008
4.16.2008 11:59am
Gramarye:
As a UVA grad, I'll admit I got a snicker out of the UVA nugget:
While most other law schools have folded, Virginia announced plans to continue operations, handing over teaching roles to its 80-strong softball coaching staff. Reactions from the Virginia student body on the difference will be printed in the Record the next time a Virginia student attends a class.
4.16.2008 2:23pm