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Now There's a Bit of Hostile E-Mail for You:

Just got it in my mailbox:

hellow nonsense person u know we r all the creature of God and we go to die one day then y u insult any other religion for the sake of just some people or temporatry popularity..... o stupid its a big sin for everyperson..... so u should try to appologise ur sin bu God and never try again this kind of mistake whenever ............

just go to hell disguesting guy......

Uh, OK.

Crunchy Frog:
By any chance, I wonder if the emailer was a product of the Los Angeles Unified School District...
2.29.2008 3:35pm
Parker Smith (mail) (www):
Just - feel the love!
2.29.2008 3:36pm
MLS (www):
Man, and I thought the cards I got on my birthday were mean.
2.29.2008 3:37pm
cjwynes (mail):
How does a person like that even end up reading anything Prof. Volokh wrote? And what in the world is she talking about? In the last two days alone, he's posted sympathetically to Quakers and Muslims, I think EV is pretty positive about the free exercise of religion and religious practice. Surely there are some militant atheist professors out there who ought to be more appropriate targets for this person's poorly-expressed anger.
2.29.2008 3:40pm
Dave N (mail):
Based on the spelling, I am wondering if the author has the reading comprehension ability to understand EV's points.
2.29.2008 3:40pm
Anonymous Hoosier:
Reminds me of how the crocodiles talk in Stephen Pastis's comic strips.
2.29.2008 3:42pm
enos:
I kind of like the word 'disguesting,' though. "You are no longer a guest here; you have been disguested." The similarity to both 'disgusting' and 'digesting' gives it force, while the root 'guest' keeps it polite. Genius.
2.29.2008 3:44pm
billhilly:
enos,

Thank you! That was the best laugh I've had all week.
2.29.2008 3:50pm
Felix Sulla:
Uh....happy birthday, Professor. ;-)
2.29.2008 3:50pm
Barely Disguised Disguest:
enos: I don't think they really followed what was discusted.
2.29.2008 3:53pm
ViciousSpamScripter (mail):
Well, the new "vaguely religious" mode appears to work well...
2.29.2008 3:53pm
Ex-Fed (mail) (www):
Man, John McCain really doesn't like it when you question whether he's a natural-born citizen.
2.29.2008 3:56pm
Kazinski:
Do you get a lot of email like that from your 2L's?
2.29.2008 3:57pm
CheckEnclosed (mail):
We would all be embiggened if you disemvowelled such a cromulent post.
2.29.2008 3:57pm
Hoosier:
Look on the bright side: If Calvinists are correct, none of that (viz., "o stupid its a big sin for everyperson..... so u should try to appologise ur sin bu God and never try again this kind of mistake") is going to affect where you end up.
2.29.2008 3:58pm
Sasha Volokh (mail) (www):
Hmmm, looks kind of fake to me, but then I don't have that much experience.
2.29.2008 3:58pm
alias:

the creature of God and we go to die one day then y u insult any other religion for the sake of just some people or temporatry popularity


Another example of veiled genius. The author has taken the annoying convention of writing "God" as "G-d" and turned it around, directing it instead at Prof. Volokh.

This is a masterpiece that must be examined at length and in depth to appreciate its many facets.
2.29.2008 3:59pm
alias:
temporatry popularity

To the untrained observer, this is just another typo or further evidence of illiteracy and ignorance.

I say that it's yet further genius. On the surface, the message is that Prof. Volokh has insulted another's religion for temporary popularity... But the e-mailer suggests that EV will not achieve even this modest objective. The extraneous "t" is not extraneous at all, but forms the word "try" with the end of the word "temporary"--i.e. not only would any popularity EV gains at the expense of another's religion be temporary, but he is not even assured of gaining that--he may only try to attain temporary popularity. And while all endeavors contrary to God's will must ultimately fail, this one might not even meet with fleeting success.

Genius, I say!
2.29.2008 4:04pm
DSY:
I feel like these words should be accompanied by a photograph of a cat doing something funny.
2.29.2008 4:05pm
great unknown (mail):
Was this from yale.edu or harvard.edu?
2.29.2008 4:08pm
Tobias:
It looks to be a text message from a cellphone.
2.29.2008 4:09pm
MXE (mail):
"Just go to school, illiterate guy"
2.29.2008 4:19pm
David Chesler (mail) (www):
Thread winner: Hoosier
2.29.2008 4:20pm
pgepps (www):
enos and alias are gifted readers, but Vicious Spam Scripter (had I kept my typos Viscous Spam Scriptre, we could have noted his oleaginity) got the gales of laughter from me. And great unknown deserves a not, er, nod.

:-)
PGE
2.29.2008 4:23pm
genob:
I guess someone noticed your 2/25 posting of the famous cartoon... Seriously, Prof. Volokh, I would not dismiss this e-mail lightly. It's rather scary.
2.29.2008 4:24pm
Paul Milligan (mail) (www):
"By any chance, I wonder if the emailer was a product of the Los Angeles Unified School District..."

Or employee - perhaps a teacher or administrator ?
2.29.2008 4:27pm
A.S.:

Do you get a lot of email like that from your 2L's?


Please. 2L's don't have enough time to write such a thoughtful e-mail. It was clearly writted by a 3L.
2.29.2008 4:27pm
junior:
I think it's kind of interesting that Professor Volokh would choose to publish this email on his blog.

Why do that? My only guess is that you are trying to make all religious people look bad. Or relatedly that you are trying to garner sympathy for the hostility you face as a result of your religion-skeptic posts.
2.29.2008 4:31pm
TomH (mail):
@genob

Yes, it looks like the product of a machine translation.
2.29.2008 4:35pm
Prashant Kerai (mail):
Are you sure it isn't a bit of spam gone wrong?
2.29.2008 4:36pm
NickM (mail) (www):
Sasha - experience at what? Typing with a BAL in excess of .30?

Nick
2.29.2008 4:48pm
Fub:
enos wrote at 2.29.2008 3:44pm:
I kind of like the word 'disguesting,' though.
Indeedy. Maybe it was complaining about guest bloggers, or the absence of guest bloggers, or something.
2.29.2008 4:50pm
Sua Tremendita (mail):
I wonder on what side of the bell curve this chap falls? Good thing we have Education PhD programs to give such people a chance to make a living. He also might make a wonderful City Planner.
2.29.2008 4:51pm
An0n:
"I think it's kind of interesting that Professor Volokh would choose to publish this email on his blog.

"Why do that?"

Laugh much?
2.29.2008 4:54pm
Doug Sundseth (mail):
junior: "My only guess is that you are trying to make all religious people look bad. Or relatedly that you are trying to garner sympathy for the hostility you face as a result of your religion-skeptic posts."

Is your imagination really so limited? Exposing this sort of aggressive ignorance to public ridicule seems entirely reasonable -- plus it's funny. And the fact that you seem to think this reflects badly on "all religious people" says rather more about you than about Prof. Volokh's post.
2.29.2008 4:55pm
Guest101:

My only guess is that you are trying to make all religious people look bad.

In my experience they're quite adept at doing that for themselves. Besides which, when has EV made any "religious skeptic" posts? I thought that was Ilya's beat.
2.29.2008 4:57pm
NickM (mail) (www):
If Eugene really wanted to expose the person to public ridicule, he would have publicized the sender's email address.

Nick
2.29.2008 5:01pm
PersonFromPorlock:
EV, you've been manipulated: this is clearly an encoded Al Qaeda message and you've just disseminated it worldwide!
2.29.2008 5:10pm
enos:

He'll own on sense, per son.
UK: no WWE.

Ra 11, the creature of God, and we go to die.
One day, then...

y u in, sultan? y?
O, the r-religion!

For the sake of just some people, or[der?] tempora [tempura?], try!
Popularity, o stupid: its a big sin forever.

y, person?
.....so u should try to, appolo [Apollo?] gi [GI?]

Seurs in bug, O dan-d!
Never try again.

This kind of mistake, whenever...
Just got oh ell. [slang for AOL?]

Disguesting Guy......
2.29.2008 5:14pm
theobromophile (www):

o stupid its a big sin for everyperson

Every person, not every man? This guy has political correctness down pat!
2.29.2008 5:31pm
Dave N (mail):
Now we know how conspiracy theories are born. We have the ravings of a person with obviously limited spelling skills. Alias provides what I suspect is very good satire. And some third person will miss the satire and take what Alias said as "truthful deduction."
2.29.2008 5:42pm
Bender (mail):
Sounds like it might be drawn from one of the spams I occasionally receive from Third World countries. The message may have been truncated. The missing info might clarify that Professor Volokh has received a powerful voodoo curse and only the immediate payment of $10.00 into a Nigerian bank account can save him from dire consequences.
2.29.2008 5:56pm
Alan Gunn (mail):
I'm with Sasha Volokh--it looks fake. People who really write that badly sprinkle apostrophes around, usually as a sort of signal that the letter s is coming.
2.29.2008 6:01pm
Randy R. (mail):
No, I doubt it is a fake. Any one who has operated a gay enterprise, be it a business, blog, website, or group, gets these on a daily basis. Yes, the grammar and spelling is sometimes just as bad as this but is usually a little bit better. On the other, they are usually more threatening, like I'm going to kill all you fudgepackers if you don't die of AIDS first.
2.29.2008 6:05pm
anym_avey (mail):
It looks to be a text message from a cellphone.

Reminds me of another forum where somebody didn't like the host's latest post, and explained the host's lack of education in a fifty-word spew that included insulting terms prefaced by as many as six or seven complex adjectives. Unfortunately for the spewer's claims, his response had very poor punctuation and no capitalization.

When it was pointed out that this made him appear uneducated, his response was, "I didn't have time, I was texting from a cell phone." Uh, okay...
2.29.2008 6:37pm
Cornellian (mail):
Reminds me of an interview with Joss Whedon I saw once where he talked about getting a letter from someone saying "your show is the dumist (sic) thing on television."

Whedon's comment "Yes, I confess I am a Dumist, a practitioner of Dumism."
2.29.2008 7:27pm
Waldensian (mail):
Professor, you're obviously doing something right.

Meanwhile, someone remarks:

Surely there are some militant atheist professors out there who ought to be more appropriate targets for this person's poorly-expressed anger.

An interesting viewpoint. How much "militancy" on their part is necessary before it's more appropriate to send them rants like this? And what does this militancy consist of?
2.29.2008 7:30pm
LM (mail):
Professor Volokh,

That message was supposed to go to Maher. Anyone who's ever seen this site knows your popularity is anything but temporatry.

Sorry for the mixup.

Mike :)
2.29.2008 7:43pm
LM (mail):
Hey, that's not fair. That last message was supposed to be from Mike Huckabee.
2.29.2008 7:44pm
Linkt:
@theobromophile:

o stupid its a big sin for everyperson

Every person, not every man? This guy has political correctness down pat!


I disagree. I believe the author is not only politically correct, he is also numerically politically correct. That is, he refuses to discriminate against the number "1". What tact! Of course, the number "1" deserves the most care, since we all know it is the loneliest number.
2.29.2008 8:27pm
LM (mail):
The message sounds suspiciously bissextile.
2.29.2008 8:29pm
Javert:
"By any chance, I wonder if the emailer was a product of the Los Angeles Unified School District..."

"Or employee - perhaps a teacher or administrator?"

More likely an "angry-studies" professor.
2.29.2008 8:34pm
glangston (mail):
I recognize that style. It was written on an ANUS Computer
2.29.2008 9:00pm
JB:
We are all creatures of god...just go to hell...

I should not -still- be surprised at the level of cognitive dissonance the hateful religious can reach.
2.29.2008 9:02pm
Joe Bingham (mail):
EV is just another conservative faking threatening emails to himself to get attention. Sigh.
2.29.2008 10:32pm
Dave Hardy (mail) (www):
How does a person like that even end up reading anything Prof. Volokh wrote?

he kunsistantly ovrstates holdgs &dsres]ects steven disents. he dos nt remembur the const dos not 4bid all searchx bt only unreasble searchz.
2.29.2008 10:46pm
Dave Hardy (mail) (www):
Sounds like it might be drawn from one of the spams I occasionally receive from Third World countries.

It lacks the pretensiousness of most of those. Just got one, from a supposed barrister in I forget where. Responded, via an anonymous email account, that I was VERY interested and he should call me at once.

The phone number I gave was FBI's internet fraud unit.

The name I gave was "Jay Edgar Hoover."
2.29.2008 10:54pm
Hoosier:
Joe Bingham: My sentiments exactly! Next he's going to tell us that someone emailed him a noose!
2.29.2008 11:02pm
BruceM (mail) (www):
Sounds like an average, typical, every-day religious person to me. Religion is a neurological disorder, what do you expect?
3.1.2008 2:22am
Clayton E. Cramer (mail) (www):

Sounds like an average, typical, every-day religious person to me. Religion is a neurological disorder, what do you expect?
Trying to win the bigot award?
3.1.2008 12:34pm
Fub:
BruceM wrote at 3.1.2008 2:22am:
Sounds like an average, typical, every-day religious person to me.
Or just another satisfied user of The Dada Engine.
3.1.2008 12:43pm
JLV:
Seems like a fake to me - i.e, the author (not EV) purposely trying to look like a right wing, religious nut-job in order to give the impression that all religious conservatives are uneducated, crayon-fisted wackos.

Liberals do this all the time on online fora.
3.1.2008 1:01pm
theobromophile (www):
Linkt,

Are you going to break out into song for us?
3.1.2008 1:35pm
Karl Lembke (mail) (www):
Maybe, just to be on the safe side, you should invest in some Get Out of Hell Free cards.
3.1.2008 1:47pm
Pin Head (mail):
Maybe this is evidence of a new "Deranged Bush Syndrome"?
3.1.2008 4:04pm
Cornellian (mail):
Of course, the number "1" deserves the most care, since we all know it is the loneliest number.

I believe, strictly speaking, it's the loneliest number that you'll ever know, which isn't quite the same thing as being the loneliest number.
3.1.2008 4:31pm
LM (mail):
Fub,

Thanks for the link. That page further links to Alan Sokal's "Social Text Affair" which I hadn't thought about for a while, and is great fun.
3.1.2008 4:57pm
theobromophile (www):
Cornellian,

Do, not know. Carnel subjects not withstanding, those are not synonymous terms.
3.1.2008 5:00pm
PersonFromPorlock:

Sounds like an average, typical, every-day religious person to me. Religion is a neurological disorder, what do you expect?

Trying to win the bigot award?

Now Clayton, have a little charity; youthful omniscience is a neurological disorder, too.
3.1.2008 5:29pm
Hoosier:
Randy R--I stand in awe of your ability to come up with a gay angle to every post on VC.
3.1.2008 9:17pm
LM (mail):
Hoosier,

There's an old, I think Hindu, proverb to the effect that for somebody who wears shoes the whole world is covered in leather. It's no cost to me if someone else's leather has studs.
3.1.2008 10:37pm
Randy R. (mail):
Hoosier: Well, if I don't, who will? :)
3.2.2008 11:40am
Ernie G (mail):
It may not be a person at all, but a cat.
3.2.2008 12:20pm
Pathetic:
"Why do that? My only guess is that you are trying to make all religious people look bad. Or relatedly that you are trying to garner sympathy for the hostility you face as a result of your religion-skeptic posts."

Yep. It's the same tactic used frequently on NOW with Bill Moyers. The show would sometimes have an e-mail or letter from a conservative criticizing a position the show took. That e-mail would often be very hostile and have tons of errors in it.

It's so obvious what Eugene is doing. This is the last time I visit the Volokh Conspiracy.
3.2.2008 1:19pm
JosephSlater (mail):
Of course, the number "1" deserves the most care, since we all know it is the loneliest number.

I believe, strictly speaking, it's the loneliest number that you'll ever know, which isn't quite the same thing as being the loneliest number


But my understanding is that in fact, two can be be as bad as one.

I understand I'm contributing to a joke here. I don't really know if the people above claiming this is some attempt to make religious conservatives look bad are joking or not.
3.2.2008 2:33pm
LM (mail):
JosephSlater,

Good point. For example, I took for granted that Pathetic was serious, but now that you mention it....
3.2.2008 3:26pm
Randy R. (mail):
And of course Pathetic knows that those emails on Bill Moyers are fakes because fakes because he ran a fingerprint analysis or something on them.

Maybe, the fakes letters are actually fakes to distract us. Think of it this way: Since we all know that bad grammar in a letter to the editor must be a fake that is used to destroyed the credibility of the opposing party, then we can assume that the email to VC must be the fake of a fake.

in other words, it was really written by not by a suppporter, but by a detractor, of Prof. Volokh's blog. This writer, who actually hates the VC, would write a poorly written email, KNOWING that such a bad fake would be revealed by the likes of Pathetic's extraordinary ability to determine what is real and what is fake.

I mean, isn't it OBVIOUS?
3.2.2008 6:02pm
iowan (mail):
What is brucem so scared of!?
3.3.2008 11:01am
Kent G. Budge (mail) (www):
I dunno. I think I'm going to have to side with "fake."

Not your fake, of course, but I have to hold you mildly at fault for being unwise enough to publish it.
3.3.2008 1:33pm