Candidate Statement -- For Immediate Release:
Chicago, IL — With just a few days left before the election, I feel compelled to express my disappointment in my opponent's baseless attacks against me.

  In this campaign, I have focused on the future. I have run on my plan to make America great. Sure, I could have talked about persistent rumors that my opponent is a pedophile. But I haven't talk about that, and I pledge not to talk about it. Instead, I have let the authorities take care of my opponent's crimes against children, and I have focused on his record. The bottom line is, my opponent has no record. He has no plan. In contrast, I have a plan. I have a vision. I'm going to reach across the aisle to get things done.

  My opponent has tried to confuse the electorate by bringing up old news about an alleged FBI investigation into bribes paid by my family business. These reports were leaked by political enemies, no doubt with the urging of my opponent. But the reports are false. Not only is there no publicly-documented proof of an investigation, but for technical reasons I don't even have a "family" business. It's kind of a long story, actually, and my lawyer told me not to discuss the details. But the key point is that voters face a choice in this election. Either we can move forward, or we can go back. I think we should move forward.

  I'll be honest with you. I realize my opponent will get 100% of the pedophile vote. But unlike my opponent, I want the votes of Americans who love freedom and our country. I want the votes of people in my district who work hard and pay taxes, and who remember the $12 million in federal funding I secured last year to put up highways signs directing tourists to our district's famous Ear Wax Museum. That's a really great museum, and now tourists aren't going to get lost trying to find it. Empowering the American people to find their way; that's what this campaign is all about, and everything my opponent stands against.

(####) 2/1/06 (####)