UFO Report:
According to the BBC, a secret UK government report continues to deny the presence of alien spaceships on our planet. Just as I would have expected.
Anderson (mail) (www):
Y'know, the Brits never *have* explained their source for the supposed Iraqi acquisition of yellowcake from Africa ...
5.8.2006 3:15pm
Why would the Brits have any idea? I mean, everybody knows that the aliens are stored at Area 51. And that's on American soil, not British.
5.8.2006 3:31pm
byrd (mail):
Pretty clever. They must have known the report would be leaked, so they added this false "no alien spaceships" claim to make people think they aren't hiding anything.
5.8.2006 3:32pm
I don't think it's OK to call them "aliens" anymore - it's "undocumented extra-terrestrials."

And I think we should offer them amnesty, as long as they, you know, don't herd us all for food or something.
5.8.2006 4:50pm
Ex-Fed (mail) (www):
The BBC explained that 80% of the UFO sightings could be attributed to weather conditions, and the other 20% to Israeli oppression of Palestinians.
5.8.2006 5:01pm
M. Python:
Yes. So these blancmanges, blancmange-shaped creatures come from the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda. They order 48,000,000 kilts from a Scottish menswear shop ... turn the population of England into Scotsmen (well known as the worst tennis-playing nation on Earth) thus leaving England empty during Wimbledon fortnight! Empty during Wimbledon fortnight ... what's more the papers are full of reports of blancmanges appearing on tennis courts up and down the country - practising. This can only mean one thing!

5.8.2006 5:53pm
W. J. J. Hoge:
Was this report found in an old police box?
5.8.2006 5:59pm
Pete Freans (mail):
Only aliens from another planet could create the British culinary cuisine, so I'm sure they have already landed in the UK. On the other hand, I did find their Indian restaurants to be outstanding.
5.8.2006 6:00pm
treefroggy (mail):
Senior Secretary for the Ministry of Defence, Sir Robert Klaatu, could not be reached for comment.
5.8.2006 9:48pm
Richard Aubrey (mail):
Yeah, well, easy to say.

I bet Montezuma's cabinet committee said there was nothing to these funny ships with cloth hanging off big sticks.
5.8.2006 11:22pm