Patriot Act:

In a gesture intended to be reminiscent of the Patent and Trademark Office's special rule about patent applications for perpetual motion machines — no patent granted without a working model — I propose a new rule about comments that reference the Patriot Act: If you allege that some government misconduct was done pursuant to the Patriot Act, you must cite and quote the relevant section (for instance, from this online version) to prove that the Patriot Act can indeed be involved.

Yes, I know that perpetual motion machines are impossible, and abuse of the Patriot Act is vastly overstated (see, e.g., this post, among many others, for examples) but in fact possible. Nonetheless, annoying times call for annoying measures. (For those curious about the straw that broke the camel's back, see some of the comments to this post.)

Remember, "Patriot Act," like "fascism" and "unconstitutional," is not Latin for "government action I don't like."