The Simpsons Channels The Ancients:

Pliny the Elder (AD 23-79), Natural History 8:209:


There is no animal who furnishes more variety to the tongue:
its meat provides nearly fifty flavors,
but that of the other animals only one.

The Simpsons, "Lisa the Vegetarian":
Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Well, after all, he is called Homer.

Robert Woolley (mail):
Reminds me of this ditty:

Some scientist may at last disperse
The mysteries of the universe
But me, I can not even think
Why pork is white and ham is pink
--Ogden Nash
8.16.2005 3:20pm
David M. Nieporent (www):
Well, if we're going to resort to Nash:

The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Gives us ham and pork and bacon.
Let others think his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the pig.
- Ogden Nash
8.16.2005 5:32pm
that is one of the best 3 or 4 episodes ever. The propaganda film trip to the meat factory (with Troy McClure, RIP) is priceless.
8.16.2005 5:44pm
Andrew W. (mail):
One of my all-time favorite episodes. It gets even better. When Homer brings out a grill with a pig roasting on a spit, Lisa races off pushing the grill ahead of her. Homer and Bart give chase until Lisa reaches the top of a hill, where she sends the grill flying. The grill crashes through a hedge.

Homer: It's just a little dirty. It's still good, it's still good! [Grill passes through traffic, jumps a bridge and the pig lands in the water.] It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good! [It gets caught in a dam spillway, and when the pressure builds, it shoots into the sky.]

Homer: It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!
Bart: [Crestfallen.] It's gone.
Homer: I know.

Cut to Mr. Burns and Smithers, standing at the window of Mr. Burns' office.

Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage — when pigs fly!

[They laugh. The pig sails across the sky before them. They stand silent for a beat.]

Smithers: Will you be donating that million dollars now, Sir?
Burns: Nooo, I'd still prefer not.
8.16.2005 5:51pm
Justin Kee (mail):
Lisa at the BBQ: "Anyone for some fresh gazpacho?"

(boos, hisses from the crowd)

Barney: "Go back to Russia!"

God, I love that line.
8.16.2005 6:26pm
Daniel Chapman (mail):
~you don't make friends with sa-LAD!~
~you don't make friends with sa-LAD!~
~you don't make friends with sa-LAD!~
8.16.2005 7:25pm
Mmmm... floorpie....
8.16.2005 7:58pm
Dr. Weevil (mail) (www):
Here's a tangentially-related joke about scholastikoi ("perfessers", "pedants", "nerds", "poindexters") from an ancient Greek jokebook, number 103 in the Philogelos:
Three scholastikoi were having a dialogue. The first argued that it is wrong to kill sheep since they provide us with milk and wool. The second argued that it is wrong to kill cows since they provide us with milk and plow our fields. The third argued that it is wrong to kill pigs since they provide us with bacon, ham, and pork chops.

I posted this and two more (one modern) here.
8.16.2005 8:38pm
Edward Lee (www):
Let's just post the link to the entire script.

8.16.2005 10:45pm