John Roberts is either a mad bomber of abortion clinics or a homo-tastic friend of the sodomite," reports Jon Stewart on the Daily Show. But, hey, wouldn't it be more fun if here both? And a french-fry-hating child-bondage supporter to boot? People, people, have some imagination. This isn't a black-and-white, either-or, right-or-left world we're living in, you know.

(Thanks to How Appealing for the pointer.)